Wednesday, September 30, 2009

whoever wants to save his life will lose it


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I needed to read this today. I am not a mother or a wife, obviously, but dying to self is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. And these words reminded me of how selfish I am and how desperately I need the love and grace of God.
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"Living like the world revolves around me can look 'christian' if done the 'right' way. We can do good stuff, talk right, smile, go to church, have children, and all the rest of the list for: ourselves ~ For our own good, not for the good of others. For reputation. For a pat on the back. For praise and adoration from others.
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How can I know if I am living out of the world's idea about life instead of God's?
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-I don't have inward (or outward) peace when things don't go as I want.
-I can't get over hurt.
-I use people for my own agenda, reputation, or purposes.
-I manipulate (kindly or unkindly) for my own good.
-I get frustrated in relationships when someone doesn't act like I think they should.
-I feel sorry for myself.
-I deal with depression or discouragement on a daily basis.
-I want, and maybe even demand, that others live up to my standards and beliefs.
-I am discontent with what I have and don't have. Always want more.
-I compare myself to others.
-I can't be wrong, others are.
-I want things to happen in my time frame.
-I cut others down to lift myself up.
-I only surround myself with people who think like me.
-I shift blame.
-I do things with expectations of return from others.
-I give to get.
-I am "happiest" when everyone thinks well of me.
-I live by my feelings, not reality.
-I do "good" things with ME as the ultimate motive.
-I think my desires and dreams are what I should live for.
-I want the glory. The affirmation. The praise for what I do and my children do.
-I want my accomplishments to be known.
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That's just a few signs that come to my mind and I write them out of personal experience with my own flesh.
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'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.' (Mark 8:34-35)"
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